Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Fear Not, All Will Be Answered

My abrupt reappearance has generated a surprising amount of emails.  So, let me answer my “fan mail” here so everyone can be on the same page.

 John from Pottsville says: Jonesy, when does the new album drop?  Very excited for it!

John, the new album will be dropping soon, I promise.  No release date yet set.  There’s still some, shall we say, production issues?  I need a regular Stakhanovite movement to get production to where it needs to be.


Zack from Alaska asks: Jonesy, what happened to you?!  I was worried your voice was silenced.  We need you comrade. 

Zack, fear not, my voice has not yet been silenced.  I realized that the odds of Bush peacefully turning over power to Obama were small, so I’ve been “woodshedding” in a small place in Nova Scotia (location as undisclosed as Cheney’s bunker), working on the new album and waiting out the storm.  Thankfully, now that power has been peacefully transferred from one branch of the bourgeoisie to another, I can safely return.  Is Barack Obama America’s Franz von Papen?  Obviously.  But I can ride that out, it’s worth it to be part of the struggle here in the belly of the beast.  When I figure out who the new Kurt von Schleicher is, well, then I’ll think about returning abroad. 


Steve from Exton asks: Jonesy, why don’t you like this Willie Bloomquist signing?  Every team needs scrappy players.  Also, dying for the new album to drop.  Love you!

Steve, I think someone has dual man crushes, on me and Willie Bloomquist.  We’re both David Ecksteinesque tough as nails underachievers who hustle.  But I think even I could OPS more than Bloomquist.  And my VORRM (Value Over Replacement Revolutionary Musician) is certainly higher than his.


Joe from Parts Unknown asks: Jonesy, any chance you’ll release some early cuts from the new album?  Please?

Joe, sorry my friend, but no can do.  At least… not yet.  We’ll see what the future brings.  And say hello to The Ultimate Warrior for me!

The Annals of Dumb Decisions

What were the Royals thinking giving Willie Bloomquist such a large contract?  Gadzooks!