G'Day Mates

I have a lot of wonderful readers from Australia, so, in honor you chaps, allow me to highlight this amazing story of the Liberal Party leader apologizing for sniffing the chair of a female colleague. I'd like to note its perfectly in line with the ass-sniffing that lackey of imperialism John Howard did to the imperialist warmonger murderous blood-thirsty neo-fascist dictator George W. Bush for seven years.

The Presidential Election

Should I endorse a candidate? Perhaps, perhaps not. What does anyone care what this one, lonely interloper thinks? I am but a construct of the mind, useless to the real world.

I feel, though, as if I must. However, the candidates are so atrocious that they make me want to vomit on my sweater already.

First, we have John McCain - the crazy old man who wants to bomb Iran. I imagine it would be a cross between making these two men President:


Then we have Hillary Clinton, the Marie Antoinette of this race. Not just for the let them eat cake attitude that she hides behind her faux-working class credentials as a beer and shot kind of gal, but also for being the wife of the modern day Louis XVI, Bill Clinton. Of course, instead of being followed by a Great Revolution Clinton was folllowed by the Revolution of the Neo-Conservatives and Oil Millionaires who have reshaped society to their own ends. Also, Marie Antoinette liked speculating in pork futures. Sorry guys, that joke might have been over the line. Anyway, if that whore of capitalism pulls the TeleCom's dicks out of her mouth long enough to string together a coherent sentence, perhaps she could top Barack Obama. Then again, this could happen too.



And finally, we have the supposed front runner, Barack Obama. At times, I admit, I like him. And the thought of a black President would send so many racists into such a tizzy that I assume they would shit their pants. However, I must remind myself that he is the kinder, gentler face of American fascism. To paraphrase John Lennon, he could be like the folks on the hill. But first he must learn to smile as he kills. Of course, for the Democrats, this is a moot point, as what he is doing to Hillary is akin to this:


Alas, they are all imperialist swine. Despite what I do, my prediction is that the American working class will end up like Mojo.

Random Pearls Found Across the Information Super Highway

Hey everybody. I was going to post this last night, but I’ve been drowning in doubles. However, I think, like Lenin’s The State and Revolution or Who’s Next, that it is still as relevant today as it was when it was first written.

• The Islamofascist capitalist industrialist pigs that run Iran are holding their second round of the parliamentary “elections” today. Unsurprisingly, this is expected to strengthen the grip of the conservatives.
• Elijah Dukes works off his community service cleaning cages at the zoo. I bet he hasn’t been around that much shit since the last time he walked in the Nationals’ bullpen.
• That petty-bourgeois puppet of Richard Gere, the Dalai Lama, is meeting with Chinese envoys today. I smell doom for the Tibetan working class.
• The Big Hurt returns to the A’s. Marv Albert’s thoughts on this? SODOMY! IT”S GOOD!
• As Ukrainian inflation soars, the Ukrainian bourgeoisie sits back and feasts on the blood and sweat of the workers. These pigs should be dragged into the street and shot like a cross between the Romanovs and a mangy dog.
• The Countdown Begins until Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo! Let’s see two of the best voices for leftist politics take down those lying sacks of shit George Dubya Bush and Dick Cheney.
• The Zimbabwe elections have about as much integrity as the NBA Finals, with slightly more death than a Pac Man Jones strip club trip.
• ZIP!
• John McCain = Franz von Papen?
• What a band.
  
  
  
  

Book Review

Gentlemen, I was just re-reading one of the fine tomes of the last century: Homage to Catalonia. George Orwell's brilliant prose is only matched by his stunning political insight. I do believe that you could replace Chris Matthews with Comrade Orwell's rotting corpse and the level of discourse on Hardball would improve tenfold - although perhaps the smell would be worse. However, that would be offset when members of this administration, who smell like the sacks of shit they are, are guests on this fine show.

Compare the works of Orwell with the pathetic excuses for authors that exist today whose only goal is to appear on the Oprah Book Club. The pathetic tripe which passes for "literature" in our society is perhaps best exemplified by the religious, or sometimes quasi-religious, "works" of "authors" such as Dan Brown (he of the Tom Hanks adapted DaVinci Code) or whatever monkey at a typewriter pounded out the Left Behind series. Perhaps, if the American proletariat ever awaken from their tequila and Miller Lite induced slumber and overthrow the lying sacks of shit which run this country at the behest of their corporate overlords, we would retain these "writers" to pen instruction manuals for DVD players. More likely, they would be forced to work for the first time in their life and quickly find that their lives of pleasure based off lulling the American people into a deep sleep would be what is "left behind."

Guys

It just occurred to me, we still haven't found the Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Does anyone remember thats why we went to war? What a gaggle of lying sacks of shit is this administration. I'm sure President Hillary McBama will be better.