Hey Guys II

I miss Iron Head Heyward.

The Revolution will not be Covered by Mel Kiper Jr.

As some of my less-educated readers may know, the National Football League held its draft this weekend, a celebration for the slovenly and corpulent whose lives are measured in ounces of beer and hours of advertising. These ignorami are so devoid of free will and thought that they will mindlessly devote days of their lives toward the documentation of inane minutiae and the prognostication of the selection of "amateur" athletes. When our day comes, a man's speed in the forty-yard dash will not elevate him above the working class.

The empty pomp of this event is surpassed only by its staggering hypocrisy. The physically gifted are required to pursue "higher education" - an insidious servant to the almighty dollar. These are no students - but puppets, trotted out before the stupid public, dancing on stages of fake green grass, to earn real green money for those institutions and advertisors who are pulling the strings. In compensation for their exploitation, which many undergo willingly, like oxen undergo their yoke, these athletes are compensated with sex, lucre, and the undeserving attention of the vacuous masses.

And this ludicrous puppet show culminates in a gala celebrated only by the fat and the stupid. The unceasing and empty coverage is meant to hypnotize the drunken and slow, to distract them from their dull lives with meaningless anger towards the faceless organizations of capitalistic ideals. How dare Matt Millen draft Gosder Cherilus over Jeff Otah?

How dare the American public so readily consume this unnourishing drivel.

Random Pearls Found Across the Information Super Highway

Hey everybody. I was going to post this last night, but I’ve been drowning in doubles. However, I think, like Lenin’s The State and Revolution or Who’s Next, that it is still as relevant today as it was when it was first written.

• The Islamofascist capitalist industrialist pigs that run Iran are holding their second round of the parliamentary “elections” today. Unsurprisingly, this is expected to strengthen the grip of the conservatives.
• Elijah Dukes works off his community service cleaning cages at the zoo. I bet he hasn’t been around that much shit since the last time he walked in the Nationals’ bullpen.
• That petty-bourgeois puppet of Richard Gere, the Dalai Lama, is meeting with Chinese envoys today. I smell doom for the Tibetan working class.
• The Big Hurt returns to the A’s. Marv Albert’s thoughts on this? SODOMY! IT”S GOOD!
• As Ukrainian inflation soars, the Ukrainian bourgeoisie sits back and feasts on the blood and sweat of the workers. These pigs should be dragged into the street and shot like a cross between the Romanovs and a mangy dog.
• The Countdown Begins until Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo! Let’s see two of the best voices for leftist politics take down those lying sacks of shit George Dubya Bush and Dick Cheney.
• The Zimbabwe elections have about as much integrity as the NBA Finals, with slightly more death than a Pac Man Jones strip club trip.
• ZIP!
• John McCain = Franz von Papen?
• What a band.
  
  
  
  

Hey Guys

Is it just me, or is Jamie Shields the most underrated pitcher in baseball?