Hey Guys II

I miss Iron Head Heyward.

It's Not Music Anymore

Hey guys, it’s been a really tough week. I was put in an idiocy induced coma from hearing the inane driveling of Mel Kiper Jr. I was only snapped out of it by the ingenious words and sounds of The Who’s Quadrophenia. Is it me, for a moment? If I could’ve lived in any other period, it would’ve been Russia in 1917 – an ability to test my mettle as a real man and revolutionary, fighting alongside my proletarian brethren against those who oppressed us and ushering in a brave new world. Then I would put a pick axe in Stalin’s head and save the world forever. If I had another time to live in, it would’ve been England in the early 1970s. To be there for The Who and The Mighty Led Zeppelin… YOWZAS!! Unfortunately, “music” nowadays is nothing but corporate swill and mindless trite. To prove this point, let us take a gander at the Billboard “Hot” 100 to see what cud is being regurgitated into the gaping maws of the mouth-breathers that buy this shit.

#1 – Lil Wayne: Lollipop. What a surprise. “Hip-hop” is topping the charts. I remember when hip-hop meant something. I remember when the NWA was turning out class-conscious albums like Straight Outta Compton. Or when Public Enemy, the Shostakovich of the African American Revolution, was releasing the anthem of Black Struggle – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. Now, hip-hop is nothing more than a collaborationist medium of the white, military-industrial complex that illegally occupies black cities. Their only goal is to divert the attention of the black proletariat from the struggle and turn them into lumpen proletariat – constantly out “hustlin’” and trying to get “money” and “hos” instead of fighting against those who oppress them. Good work Lil Wayne, you’re more of a class traitor than the Kronstadt scum – and hopefully you’ll meet the same fate.

#2 – Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love. No idea who this is. Her song could be called bleeding vag for all I care, I won’t listen.

#3 – Jordin Sparks – No Air. She came from the awful, awful American Idol. The goal of this program is to turn music into the most corporatist amalgamation of soulless tones and subliminal advertising that is possible. Perhaps if this young lady could get Coca-Cola’s dick out of her mouth long enough to try and learn to sing, perhaps from a great like Robert Plant, she could have a future. And lose some weight. No one likes fat chicks.

#4 – Usher feat. Young Jeezy – Love in the Club. See above. This maggot doesn’t merit me repeating myself.

#5 – Mariah Carey – Whatever Shit She’s Selling. I don’t even know if I can work up the energy to comment about this. Mariah Carey? I’ll buy her a bus ticket so she can come down here, service me, and then go to work picking trash up off the streets of Philadelphia for the rest of her life to try and repay the debt from the harm she inflicted upon society by singing and “acting.” Wait, I forgot Glitter. She just needs to be shot.

#6 – Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – 4 Minutes. Wow. How is this whore still relevant? Her faux British accent is an insult to great men like Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwhistle and Keith Moon who really do/did have British accents. And Justin Timberlake? In Nepal, the workers are trying to seize control. In Venezuela they’re fighting against the meddling hands of imperialism. And all over Eastern Europe and Africa they are struggling in the streets everyday for rights. Here, in America, we’re listening to a washed up corporate whore, whose only notable contribution to society was to once fondle Jose Canseco’s tiny, steroid ravaged member, and her gal pal Justin Timberlake – who I assume exists merely to prove to all that God has abandoned us.

I cannot go beyond the top six, as I have grown weary from being exposed to this propaganda. I now need to refresh my soul the only way I know how.

The Revolution will not be Covered by Mel Kiper Jr.

As some of my less-educated readers may know, the National Football League held its draft this weekend, a celebration for the slovenly and corpulent whose lives are measured in ounces of beer and hours of advertising. These ignorami are so devoid of free will and thought that they will mindlessly devote days of their lives toward the documentation of inane minutiae and the prognostication of the selection of "amateur" athletes. When our day comes, a man's speed in the forty-yard dash will not elevate him above the working class.

The empty pomp of this event is surpassed only by its staggering hypocrisy. The physically gifted are required to pursue "higher education" - an insidious servant to the almighty dollar. These are no students - but puppets, trotted out before the stupid public, dancing on stages of fake green grass, to earn real green money for those institutions and advertisors who are pulling the strings. In compensation for their exploitation, which many undergo willingly, like oxen undergo their yoke, these athletes are compensated with sex, lucre, and the undeserving attention of the vacuous masses.

And this ludicrous puppet show culminates in a gala celebrated only by the fat and the stupid. The unceasing and empty coverage is meant to hypnotize the drunken and slow, to distract them from their dull lives with meaningless anger towards the faceless organizations of capitalistic ideals. How dare Matt Millen draft Gosder Cherilus over Jeff Otah?

How dare the American public so readily consume this unnourishing drivel.

The Presidential Election

Should I endorse a candidate? Perhaps, perhaps not. What does anyone care what this one, lonely interloper thinks? I am but a construct of the mind, useless to the real world.

I feel, though, as if I must. However, the candidates are so atrocious that they make me want to vomit on my sweater already.

First, we have John McCain - the crazy old man who wants to bomb Iran. I imagine it would be a cross between making these two men President:


Then we have Hillary Clinton, the Marie Antoinette of this race. Not just for the let them eat cake attitude that she hides behind her faux-working class credentials as a beer and shot kind of gal, but also for being the wife of the modern day Louis XVI, Bill Clinton. Of course, instead of being followed by a Great Revolution Clinton was folllowed by the Revolution of the Neo-Conservatives and Oil Millionaires who have reshaped society to their own ends. Also, Marie Antoinette liked speculating in pork futures. Sorry guys, that joke might have been over the line. Anyway, if that whore of capitalism pulls the TeleCom's dicks out of her mouth long enough to string together a coherent sentence, perhaps she could top Barack Obama. Then again, this could happen too.



And finally, we have the supposed front runner, Barack Obama. At times, I admit, I like him. And the thought of a black President would send so many racists into such a tizzy that I assume they would shit their pants. However, I must remind myself that he is the kinder, gentler face of American fascism. To paraphrase John Lennon, he could be like the folks on the hill. But first he must learn to smile as he kills. Of course, for the Democrats, this is a moot point, as what he is doing to Hillary is akin to this:


Alas, they are all imperialist swine. Despite what I do, my prediction is that the American working class will end up like Mojo.

The Chinese/Belgian/Capitalism Tripartite Alliance Against The Purity of Sports

Well, as per usual, I enjoyed taking some time away from work today to flip through the mouthpiece for the British ruling class: The Financial Times. I was greeted with a story that hit me like a Rick James slap across the face. Supposedly, Jacques Rogge, head of the International Olympic Committee, has told the west to stop hectoring China over their massive human rights violations.

HA HA HA

Jacques Rogge is about as despicable a pig as the laboratory concocted spawn of Alexander Kolchak and Kenesaw Mountain Landis which I believe he is. Rogge, who was knighted by the Grand Inquisitor of Belgian Imperialism “King” Albert II, has one primary mission: helping divert the international class struggle into the mindless idiocy of nationalism. His special portfolio is, I believe, Minister of Sport for the Department of Diverting The International Proletariat Struggle. Athletes should be banding together to form teams based upon class lines – pitting the best of the proletariat versus the weak ass teams the bourgeoisie would be able to put together. I’ve constructed a starting lineup for Team Proletariat. Check it out:

C – Victor Martinez. Bonus points for being from Venezuela.

1B – Ryan Howard. Grew up in Missouri, notorious for poor people.

2B – Robinson Cano. Maintains the struggle through honoring Jackie Robinson, a fighter in the class struggle.

SS – Jimmy Rollins. Straight out of Oakland.

3B – Travis Hafner. Has always reminded me of a Southern Cesar Chavez. Had to move him to third-base as this is a notoriously imperialist position. Thanks George Brett.

LF – Adam Dunn. A true Hero of the Working Man. This is who John Edwards wishes he was.

CF – Coco Crisp. Obviously.

RF – Bobby Abreu. Again, a soldier in the Venezuelan Revolution.

P – Jamie Shields.

Compare this to the weakness of Team Bourgeoisie.

Team Bourgeoisie

C – Joe Mauer.

1B – Ken Caminiti.

2B – Chase Utley, however, he is a class traitor and will side with us.

3B – Ryan Zimmerman. Obviously.

SS – Davis Love III.

LF – Shawn Green. Obviously.

CF – Mark Kotsay.

RF – Chris Dodd.

P – Roger Clemens, The Great Satan of American Capitalism.

Who would you go to war with? I think its obvious who you would go to class war with.

And yet, Jacques Rogge – or Jacques Rogue, I should call him – wants to prevent this and instead force us all into competing for the capitalist oppressors who deign to call themselves our national leaders. Although I am an expert golfer, even if golf was in the Olympics I would not choose to compete for the flag of the oppressor nation in which I reside and instead would use my mighty 4 iron to strike down those who control the means of production and exploit us. Of course golf is not in the Olympics. And neither is baseball. And who is responsible for removing baseball? Jacques Rogue (remember, that’s what I renamed him).

Well, this Flemish sack of shit should go back to the Walloon whorehouse where his mother gave birth to him and keep his nose out of sport. Instead, he has now taken upon himself the duty of being Chief Apologist for Chinese Stalinist Oppression. Oh no Jacques, is the rising up of the working class to protest these atrocities too much for you? Then I assume when we rise up to seize the commanding heights of the economy it shall also be too much for you. The sight of millions of workers marching, arm in arm, to your Ivory Tower to tear your entrails out shall make you shit your pants. And even that will be more entertaining than watching the farce/sham which you pass off as the Olympic Games.

Onward to the Dictatorship of the Proletariat!

Also, check out this awesome video of Asdrubal Cabrera.

Random Pearls Found Across the Information Super Highway

Hey everybody. I was going to post this last night, but I’ve been drowning in doubles. However, I think, like Lenin’s The State and Revolution or Who’s Next, that it is still as relevant today as it was when it was first written.

• The Islamofascist capitalist industrialist pigs that run Iran are holding their second round of the parliamentary “elections” today. Unsurprisingly, this is expected to strengthen the grip of the conservatives.
• Elijah Dukes works off his community service cleaning cages at the zoo. I bet he hasn’t been around that much shit since the last time he walked in the Nationals’ bullpen.
• That petty-bourgeois puppet of Richard Gere, the Dalai Lama, is meeting with Chinese envoys today. I smell doom for the Tibetan working class.
• The Big Hurt returns to the A’s. Marv Albert’s thoughts on this? SODOMY! IT”S GOOD!
• As Ukrainian inflation soars, the Ukrainian bourgeoisie sits back and feasts on the blood and sweat of the workers. These pigs should be dragged into the street and shot like a cross between the Romanovs and a mangy dog.
• The Countdown Begins until Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo! Let’s see two of the best voices for leftist politics take down those lying sacks of shit George Dubya Bush and Dick Cheney.
• The Zimbabwe elections have about as much integrity as the NBA Finals, with slightly more death than a Pac Man Jones strip club trip.
• ZIP!
• John McCain = Franz von Papen?
• What a band.
  
  
  
  

The Dalai Lama Waste Land

In my own private search for meaning, I have taken personal offence to the one Mr. Dalai Lama. Don’t misunderstand me, if the lying sacks of shit who currently have a stranglehold on our means of production ever applied the teaching of Dali, we might actually get our societal gubbins together. As it stands, however, the Lama is nothing short of a cute, harmless project for the fake-left, and a distraction to the cause. Damn you Richard Gere. If I had my druthers, I would send Dolly to the Grand Liberal Petting Zoo, ostensibly located inside Ted Turner’s compound.

Seriously, we all need to wake the fuck up and come out from behind the grand façade of Imposterism in our midst. We need to stop putting The Dalai Lama on a fucking pedestal and see him for who he really is, namely, Teddy Ruxpin. You pull the pin, and he says cute little quotes. Beyond that he is useless. Don’t let the Regime fool you. The Dalai Lama is little more than a construct of the murderous bourgeois dogs like George W. Bush, Richard Gere, and Kobe Bryant. He has no place in our struggle for improvement, as these fucking pigs would have you believe. Stop being blinded by the foolish rhetoric of the inconsequential.

So I pray all of you take heed to a message purported by the Llama himself, that is – “If you have a particular faith or religion, that is good. But you can survive without it.” Dear Llama, we can, and will, survive without you.